I actually saw an advance screening of this two days ago. All I can say is, thank God it was free, because otherwise I’d be demanding my money back. Dear lord, I’m applying brain bleach as we speak. It was the sort of movie that doesn’t succeed in any way. It wasn’t a good premise that was ruined by poor execution. It didn’t have a few good lines or gags. It was completely and totally devoid of any kind of entertainment. I’m still in shock as to who the hell greenlit this, and where I can find him so that I can obliterate him. I would list the things that I would rather do than be subjected to this movie again, but they are too horrific to even describe. The first half of the movie is an unashamed ripoff of “Over the Hedge”, and the second half is and unashamed ripoff of “Hoot”. Nothing makes sense. Characters and plotlines are introduced suddenly, even when there are only 20 minutes to go, and then they just disappear, having either served no purpose to the plot, or only existed to be plot devices. Why does his son suddenly have a girlfriend? So that he can be taught to disapprove of his father’s actions, despite the fact that he already disapproved strongly at the beginning. They literally changed his character in the middle of the movie for the expressed purpose of developing him back into the same character that he was at the beginning. Wow, guys. It takes a lot of laziness to write that poorly, but you seem to have done it. The movie is also blatantly racist, but I won’t even bother getting in to that. Why did Brooke Shields agree to do this movie? She’s a talented comedic actress. What idiot decided to cast her as the straight man to a wacky Brendan Fraser? On that note, why would ANYONE agree to do this movie? Seriously, don’t even rent this one night because your girlfriend left you and you think that you can have a little fun riffing on it while simultaneously gorging on Oreos. It really, truly isn’t worth it. And don’t you DARE tell me to “Take off my ‘critic hat’ and enjoy the show.” That is simply impossible. It is unfathomable to think that human beings could enjoy this…this ATROCITY. This may well be the worst movie I have ever seen.
Actually, you know what? I didn’t even need to write that. This pretty much sums up my feelings toward the film.