Fool Me Once: A Review of “X-Men: Days of Future Past”

I am sick to death of superhero franchises. We need to put a stop to them, and quickly.

Studios have realized two things: One, that people will see absolutely anything as long as it’s got superheroes or a Marvel logo in it, and two, that they can trick people into getting invested in the franchise by treating it like a television show. X-Men: Days of Future Past is an infuriating film, mostly because it isn’t a film at all. It’s a palate cleanser, a mega-blockbuster excuse to stroke fandom ego and put pieces in place for their next mega-blockbuster. And they’ve sunk lower than ever before with this one. This movie is less like an episode of a TV show and more like the webisode-prequel to a new season of a TV show. There is nothing accomplished in this movie that isn’t just about moving pieces into place for whatever the next movie is going to be about. It’s an insult to the audience.

There is exactly one good scene in Days of Future Past, and it’s probably one you’ve already heard mentioned. About halfway through the movie, Wolverine (Hugh Jackman, really really good here) and Young Professor X (James McAvoy) enlist the help of a young mutant named Quicksilver (Evan Peters) to help them break Young Magneto (Michael Fassbender, awesome as ever) out of a secret prison cell deep underneath the Pentagon. This sequence is so good that it’s unfair that it’s stuck inside such an awful film. The sequence has a zip to it that’s nowhere to be found in the rest of the movie, and more importantly it has a sense of humor. I know this isn’t a new complaint, but why do superhero movies always insist on being so grim and dire? Quicksilver is the only one in this movie having any fun. I wish we could’ve just followed him.

But alas, there are Serious Matters to attend to. I won’t offer a synopsis because the film’s plot is total nonsense, but suffice to say that it involves time travel. Remember Kitty Pryde (Ellen Page) from X-Men: The Last Stand? Her mutant power was to move through solid objects? Well, turns out she can ALSO send your consciousness back in time to your younger body. If that sounds like complete bullshit to you, I’ve got some bad news. The entire film is built on stuff like that. This is the seventh film in this franchise and yet almost nothing about it flows naturally from its predecessors. The future timeline comes without any warning whatsoever, but we’re told that things have gotten really, really bad. The last movie in this series, last year’s The Wolverine, seemed to take place in a non-dystopic world, so I’m not sure where this is coming from.

Well, I do know where it’s coming from, since that’s the whole point of this movie. But even the past timeline has stuff like this. It takes place about ten years after X-Men: First Class, which means that they can dole out exposition about the radical character changes that have happened in that time without bothering to show it. It’s such a cheat of a film. They really needed to tell this story, so they made arbitrary changes to everything we’ve previously been told about this franchise rather than building on what they’ve already created. It’s unbelievable how poorly this film treats its fans.

And if that weren’t bad enough, Days of Future Past features the incredibly boring filmmaking that’s a hallmark of director Bryan Singer’s work. This film is a black hole of style. I know that most people who will see this movie only care about seeing their favorite characters, but is it too much to ask for some halfway-interesting filmmaking as well? Matthew Vaughn’s First Class may have had a few issues, but at least it had a discernible aesthetic. The entire movie is on auto-pilot. All the big bombastic trailer moments just kind of happen for the sake of having big bombastic trailer moments. The characters do things and go places because they have to. The cast is doing their damnedest, but all of these characters are incredibly boring. Even Magneto, who once upon a time was the most interesting villain in any superhero movie, has been flattened within an inch of his life. Peter Dinklage is wasted as Bolivar Trask, the film’s unbelievably lame villain. In fact, almost all of these actors are totally wasted, minus Peters as Quicksilver, who is a major part of why his scenes work as well as they do. You’ve got some of the best actors working today. Give them something to chew on, for god’s sake. Even Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart are thrown away on what basically amounts to cameos. Fassbender and McAvoy bring their A-game (they’re some of the only actors who successfully weave their mutant powers into their physicality) but it hardly matters. Everyone in this movie would rather be doing something else, and while most of them are talented enough to still turn in a decent performance, the rest of the cast looks bored.

People are calling this the “best superhero movie ever,” because of course they are. And if you really enjoyed this movie, please don’t take that as an attack on your opinion. If you enjoyed the film, more power to you. I certainly wish I did. But you deserve better. X-Men: Days of Future Past is a con of the highest order, and a disturbing look at the future of blockbusters. I paid ten dollars to watch a movie studio set up their next film. Joke’s on them, though, because there’s no way I’m seeing it. Fool me once, etc. etc.

Advertisements

Published by

Josh Rosenfield

Josh Rosenfield is a Film Media major at the University of Rhode Island. He has been writing Popcorn Culture since 2010.

2 thoughts on “Fool Me Once: A Review of “X-Men: Days of Future Past””

  1. I’m impressed, I have to admit. Seldom do I come across a blog that’s both equally educative
    and engaging, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head.
    The problem is something not enough men and women are speaking intelligently about.
    I’m very happy that I stumbled across this during my search for something relating to this.

  2. oh my god – I collect comics and gave read many an X-Men – but for some reason they can’t seem to get the dynamic storyline on film – it comes across as dull and boring – however in the old 90s XMen cartoons (first generation) it seemed to work – maybe film just isn’t the right medium to portray something so fantastical – stick to animation (but not the cheesy computer generated asian-style anime, cause it sucks – go back to the organic hand drawn stuff) Also, what’s all the fuss about Ellen Page? Why does she get so much screen time? She’s the most bland and boring actress in the world, talks like she has marbles in her mouth, plus she’s just meh to look at. if they ever do a new Xmen movie (and I hope not) then please dump Ellen Page as Kitty Pryde and bring in someone more interesting to play Jubilee.

Leave a Reply!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s